it doesn't feel like Christmas
I don't know if you ever felt that way. It never happened to me before but this year, I don't feel what we call the "Christmas Spirit". I'm like, today is a day as usual as every other day. It's kind of sad. Maybe it's because I'm working and I didn't pay much attention of Christmas eve because I was too focused on my "work duty". I had other stuff in mind. Or it could be because the weather doesn't match the Christmas season.
Still I had super cool presents : money, shirt, soap, chocolate, gift card... and a portable headphone amplifier. I explain, my music goes from my ipod/phone/laptop to this small box which transform the music into "high sound quality" for my headphone. It's pretty expensive but so much worth it ! Omg the sound is sooooo incredible ! It's like listening to a concert but anywhere :) (Right now, I'm listening the Beatles and Snarky Puppy).
So, I met a guy on the internet, I know it's foolish. He is clearly not my kind of guy, I wouldn't even thought about dating a guy like him. He is cute but we don't have much in commun. Basically, things are probably never gonna work on the long term. We met twice, we kissed and talked. I want to give us a chance... a thin one haha (what a good start lol). It doesn't matter, I don't want to get crazy inlove with anyone. It was too painful to get over the last one. I just want to date a few guys and experience things with a different point of view. With the view of someone who lives day by day and not in the past nor the future (with boys at least).
Saturday, I went to Paris with the son and daughter of my dad's friend. They are 21 and 'Idon'tremember' years old. I don't go out much but that night was memorable ! I drunk a beer with litchi flavour haha. The bar was really cool, the music alright and the people very intresting. For once, I hung out with friends older than me. It felt so good to be able to talk about "real" subject such as society, literatur, music, people, politics a bit... not just school ! My friend said "life is a playground where you can wear any mask you want". First I thought he was insane, how can you be someone else ? But when you think about it, everyone plays that kind of game, you're not the same person with a friend or your grandma' or people you barely know. You have to be conscious of that so you can use it with others. One day, I'll be the boring girl who still goes in high school, the nerd and another day, I'll be the cool one who works at Disneyland and went to California. It's just a matter of how you introduce yourself. It's always you of course but with different point of view. Anyway, we are going to hang out again together. Thanks to him, I've finally have a life outside my village jk.
The saturday before, I was invited to my friend 18th birthday (I don't remember if I wrote about it already). Laser game is fun, I am the worst player on earth tho. I drunk too much but I kept my head straight and my mind clear so it's fine.
About my mommy, she is so stressed out, she doesn't sleep and sometimes she is mad at me for nothing. I always help at home, I want to do so. It's just another pressure, I don't know how we are going to handle the problem until July. I love her so much.
Disneyland is awesome as always. Tough work but so much fun ! I wish I could stay here and not go back to school for a while. We made a sweet "honig moon" decoration, nice.
I don't know why am I sharing all this, it's really stupid and childish. I know it.
Merry Christmas ! Joyeux Noël !
PS I'm going to work in Germany in August with my mom's ex-boss.
Try to enjoy everything life has to offer. No regrets only disappointments or happiness :)